13 Upsides to Having a Small Penis
Ever wonder if having a small penis maybe isn’t such a tragedy after all? I mean, surely there could be some sort of silver lining to sporting a small wiener . Recently, Asylum.com, an online men’s lifestyle mag published this hilarious list by Alan Weider, author of Year of the Cock. Before writing this list, Weider spent a year obsessing over his small penis—an obsession that proved detrimental to his marriage—and wrote a book about it. In any case, he seems to have finally come to terms with his little guy, and hopes that you can, too, thanks to his handy little list. So, without any further ado, here’s Alan Weiner’s…er, Weider’s 13 Great Advantages to Having a Small-to-Average Schwanger:
“13. You have something to take the focus off your receding hairline.
12. It makes your otherwise-dainty hands look huge.
11. You get to have fun watching your sexual partner come up with creative compliments (God bless her) to make you feel better about your modest member, like “You’re soooo hard!” “It grows so much!” and, worst of all, “It fits my vagina perfectly.”
10. You can relate to women better because you more or less have a vagina.
9. Your son’s penis envy will disappear by the time he hits 11.
8. Your balls look much more substantial.
7. You have a 14 percent better chance of talking your significant other into backdoor action.
6. You are marginally less likely to get your pecker caught in a wood mulcher. (It can happen!)
5. You can fit your entire chub in a $10 quarter roll and play a really awesome trick on a bank teller.
4.You have a perfect excuse to buy the new Ferrari 458 Italia, Rolex Yacht-Master II watch, or cigarette boat.
3. Smurf condoms only cost, like, 40 cents per pack.
2. Devoid of a false sense of entitlement, you will be motivated to develop an actual personality, a professional skill set, and the means to make a useful contribution to society.
1. You can write a best-selling memoir about your penis and make up with celebrity what you lack in length and girth!”
Condoleeza Rice extollling the benefits of a little weiner?
The original list can be found here. (http://www.asylum.com/2009/08/24/13-great-things-about-having-a-small-penis/) If you like that, check out the rest of the site for more manly male man stuff.
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