Small Penis Alert: Man Pees in Lobby, is Punished on the Interwebs

Toronto man seeks justice through exposing tiny member

It seems as though rude, inconsiderate things come in small packages. That’s what pissed-off Toronto landlord Alex Hess found out when investigating a recent crime in his building’s lobby. It seems as though some rather uncouth gentleman took it upon himself to urinate in said lobby—not even in the corner, but all over every inch of the place. Luckily, the whole thing was caught on the lobby’s security camera, which gave Hess an idea. Why not publicly shame this thoughtless barbarian who stunk up his lobby with piddle?

The creative and cheeky Hess knew that catching this guy could potentially be a long shot, so why not at least make fun of his manhood for the entire world to see? Thusly, the landlord decided to post the security video on Youtube with the title, “Small Penis Alert.” The video is complete with big arrow pointing at the perpetrating penis with the caption, “Note: small penis.” The video has gotten over 18,000 views, and if you take into consideration the media coverage of Hess’s campaign, over 50,000 people have LOLed at the mystery pisser’s mini member.

He also created a website (smallpenisalert.com) through which you can contact him with information about the identity of the mystery pisser. Moreover, he plastered the neighborhood with “Small Penis Alert” signs featuring an image of the man’s face. Hess had this to say: “There’s not a lot of legal options, so I figure if there is something I can do to embarrass him or make me feel better, this is one of those things.”

There have been some tips coming in with regards to the man’s identity, but so far, Hess hasn’t been able to pin-point the piddler. If you live in Toronto and would like to help Alex Hess in his quest for justice, visit his website and see if you can identify the man’s face—or his ween—for the love of all that is just, and LOLtastic.

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