Man Set Free For Freeing His Lizard

A man in North East England was accused of drunkenly flashing his wang at unsuspecting women, but was let off thanks to a little lizard. According to a female guard on the train between Newcastle and Hartlepool, 28-year-old Barry Kenny is guilty of exposing himself.

Is there a lizard on that wang?

The case was brought before a magistrate, and when asked to describe Kenny’s member, the woman said it didn’t have any “distinguishing marks.” In a surprising courtroom twist, the man offered to show the court his penis. To everyone’s surprise, the man’s dong featured a two-inch lizard tattoo down the side. (Apparently, before being reminded that he was under oath, Kenny had claimed it was seven inches, but that’s beside the point). Since the woman failed to mention the lizard on Kenny’s gizzard, the magistrate ruled that she had gotten the wrong wang, and Kenny was released.

The Lizard on Kenny's Gizzard: evidence in his defence.

That’s got to be one of the only times in history when exposing your manhood to a group of people—including a magistrate and some lawyers—can actually get you out of trouble. Every other time I’ve attempted to flash a judge, I’ve ended up with a slew of problems.

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