Lady Gaga: No Penis Here

Questions regarding Lady Gaga's possible penis are put to rest by Wayne Campbell

For some reason, the internet has been abuzz for some time about whether or not Lady Gaga has a penis, a debate that I consider preposterous. In a recent statement that is rocking the interwebs, pop musician Mika has stepped into the whole “does Lady Gaga have a shlong” debate, in efforts to set the records straight. Here’s what he said:

“She doesn’t have a penis. She came to my house in her underwear and I saw no hint of a penis. She thought it was appropriate attire. She can get away with it. She knows what she’s doing. She ain’t no fool. She’s brilliant. I think she’s a good role model for girls. She plays with sex and makes it unsexy on purpose – so outrageous it’s approachable.”

Mika claims that Gaga doesn't have a penis. Just what does this photo say?

Now, this might seem like a revelation, but let’s pay attention to Mika’s wording here. He says “She doesn’t have a penis.” Although he explicitly denies Lady Gaga’s weenis, he neglects to confirm or deny anything about Lady Gaga’s possession of testicles, which makes me suspicious. After all, it must take a substantial amount of balls to waltz around wearing those crazy outfits… I believe the question we should all be asking is, “Does Lady Gaga have a glistening pair of rhinestone-studded cajones?”

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